"Dear Diary..."

vocalizing

last night I received the call, and today I subbed for the new high school choir director.
second day of school!
unfortunately, there wasn't much for me to do.
after homeroom (I didn't have one assigned), I supervised a study hall.
most of them didn't have much to do yet, but they busied themselves, and I told them they could talk quietly.
when I asked one young man if there was any rule against wearing caps in class, several students piped up that it was my choice, so, of course, I asked him to remove the cap while in "my" class.
don't know what that's all about, but it still irritates me when I see men wearing hats/caps inside.
guess I'm from that generation (oh, brother, that makes me sound old!) that was raised to expect them to take off their caps indoors, as a sign of respect.
my request was met with no resistance (big relief!), and the other guy in class with a cap took his off, as well.
I also insisted that they not put their feet up on chairs - something I would have to repeat several times the during the day - what's up with that!??
don't teachers make kids sit in chairs the proper way?
well, I do.
no classes second and third hour.
normally, the choir director would be teaching lessons during those times, but he hasn't had time to make a schedule yet.
fourth hour was a big mixed chorus, 40+ kids.
there wasn't any music in the folders, so I decided not to attempt getting them to sing.
the lesson plan said only to take attendance and put in the dvd, movie version of "Oklahoma!"
attendance was a bit painful - why don't kids speak up clearly anymore?? - but we managed, and I began a short intro. I had quickly prepared.
overheard one young man in the third row mutter, "I don't want to listen to some old lady talk about a dumb musical," and he began texting on his cell phone.
big mistake.
he didn't see me coming until I was directly in front of him, and it startled him when I said, "Put it away, or it's mine!"
I started toward the front of the room again, but turned around and added, "And I'm not THAT old."
visibly embarrassed that I had actually heard him, he and his buddies were quiet and attentive the remainder of class.
fifth hour lunch was a choice between institutional spaghetti (yech) and the "sandwich bar."
I chose the latter, and selected a non-threatening bologna sandwich, peaches, an oatmeal bar and a pickle.
and milk.
I'm not a milk drinker, but it's free.
the teacher's lounge/workroom was spacious, and I talked a bit with a couple of teachers I had already met.
they all seemed pleased that there was a new sub for the year, I guess we're a precious commodity.
nothing going on sixth hour, but I chatted with the band director, and let her know my music background, so if she ever needed help with anything...
seventh hour was girl's - oops! - WOMEN'S choir, another 40+ group of gigglers who insisted that it was ok if they stretched out on the floor, using their backpacks as pillows.
I insisted that today it was not ok.
perhaps tomorrow it would be ok.
eye-rolling, but no major protesting.
I'm liking this school!
during eighth hour I decided to put the chairs into some kind of order, and only arranged enough chairs on the risers for the largest class.
stacked the others in the corner of the room.
wrote out my daily report, wrote a little thank-you note to Mr. Newchoirdirectorwiththenewbaby, and waited for 3:03 to arrive.
first day of my year, and no casualities.
can't wait to see what comes next.
later,
Mrs. O'R

amazing

well, I wouldn't have believed it last March.
but I had a very nice day, at the high school.
perhaps they're all worn out, too tired to be naughty.
and, perhaps, some of them have learned that I will do whatever it takes to get them to do their assigned work, and follow the rules.
I actually had kids saying hello to me in the halls, calling me by name, and joking around a bit.
and I wasn't feeling like so much of an outsider.
now I'm sad to see this school year end, I was just getting somewhere.
even if it was just some surly senior (with allergies) who thanked me for bringing a box of Kleenex for the class.
well, there's one more week...
later,
Mrs. O'R

senior-itis

got the early morning call to sub again at the high school yesterday, and I was quite excited about it.
I would be subbing in a different room - Environmental Science and Biology.
I was nervous, as science was never a good subject for me.
oh, I did fine, because I was one of those over-achievers in a very competitive circle of college-bound friends, was devastated if I didn't get straight A's on everything.
but I never really liked science, and had to work hard for those A's.
anyway, off I went, checked in with Mrs. Wonderfulschoolsecretary, and made my way to the second floor science lab, across the hall from the library.
checking the plans for the day, I could tell it would be an interesting day.
I recognized a lot of names on the class rosters - this was good and bad.
the Biology and Environmental Science classes were large, with a mix of grades 9-12.
but they had worksheets to do (of course, I'm beginning to think that's all they do in high school now!), so it would be a matter of keeping them to the task for 50 minutes.
Mr. Regularteacher also had a couple of AP classes, and a couple of independent study kids, and I was to take them to the library so they could work on their final research papers.
some had not selected topics, as yet, so I did my best to offer suggestions, and I would say most of them made some progress, on some interesting subjects.
so my day became a mix of policing the rambunctious and gently nudging the tired and bored.
and senior-itis is not just for seniors anymore.
I could tell from the conversations I overheard in the teachers' lounge and in the office, everyone is ready for this year to be over.
by the end of my day, I was, too.
6th hour was a rowdy bunch, with some familiar trouble-makers I had dealt with in History and Geography classes.
and one young man was determined not to do what was asked of him.
I tried nice.
didn't work.
I tried stern.
didn't phase him.
I threatened sending him to the office, and he blew up at me.
now, this was a big kid.
and when he stood up, put his finger in my face, and told me he'd do the damn worksheets when he felt like it, I was, for a minute, afraid.
and I've never been afraid of a student, all these years.
but I really thought this one might take a swing at me, if I didn't back down, or at least, back up out of reach.
I told him to go to the office, and he refused.
I couldn't just let him stay, not now, had to follow through.
so I went to the phone, and dialed the office.
he stomped out, yelling "you're gonna hear about this!" and slammed the door.
I told the secretary who should be arriving shortly, and briefly, what had happened.
I realized it was totally silent in the room, and turning back to the class, I saw that all eyes were on me.
so I smiled and said, "well, that was unpleasant, wasn't it?"
I braced myself for an outburst, or more resistance, but instead, I got a few smiles, a little giggling, and some very unexpected applause.
and they all settled down to work.
it was what I would call a hollow victory, though.
I never want to kick a kid out of class, but sometimes you have to sacrifice one so the rest can work in peace...
later,
Mrs. O'R

the good, the bad, and the ugly

back at the high school today, same teacher, same classes.
but this time I got to meet Mr. Regularteacher, as he was gathering up materials for a field trip.
a small group of students would be touring the county courthouse, and would participate in a mock trial.
cool.
he's a very nice man, and assured me that I was doing all the right things, especially where it concerned that hateful eighth hour class.
I tackled the day with a renewed sense of purpose, and it must have paid off - everything ran quite smoothly.
I even helped a sophomore (yes, as in 10th grade) find Europe on a globe...
this was U.S. History, and they are at the point just before the U.S. enters WWII, and they're reading assignment was about Germany's relationships with Belgium, the Netherlands, Luxembourg, etc.
this poor young thing complained to me - why should she care, it was a long time ago, and she didn't even know where any of these places were.
I tried not to show her the shock and disappointment I was feeling inside, and while the others did their obligatory worksheet, I took her to the back of the room, where there was a globe.
she found Wisconsin (whew!), we figured out which direction is "east" and found New York.
then I told her to just keep going, across that ocean blue, and she would eventually find Europe, and all those little countries.
I left her alone to explore the world, sitting on the floor with the globe between her knees, and soon I heard, "cool! I found it!"
later in the day she stopped by, with a friend, to show her what she had learned today, and then thanked me.
she didn't feel so "stupid" now.
made my day.
good.
but it also made me wonder just how many kids are slipping through the cracks without learning things that should be really very basic, and essential.
during my prep, the office called and asked if I would sit in on the telecommunications class that hour, as they were taking a test, and they needed more than the teacher-on-the-monitor in the room.
sure.
and it turned out to be a class in sign language, an intro. to deaf communications.
I was fascinated, not only by all this incredible equipment, allowing someone hundreds of miles away to teach three classes, spread all over northeastern Wisconsin - but by the sign language, itself.
it's something that I've always wanted to learn.
maybe someday, after we catch up on things...
my feelings of good were soon dashed by the eighth-hour-from-hell-class, but this time, it wasn't the guys.
Thing 1 is now in in-school suspension, and if he shows up at all, he spends most of his time in the office.
of course, this didn't stop him from dropping by the classroom on his way to the office, and drawing a penis on the markerboard for me.
bad.
Thing 2 has calmed down a bit.
I think that the fact that he cannot shock me with his belching and farting and kissing other boys (he told me he was gay, I know that he is not, so my response was, "how nice for you.") has taken some of the wind out of his sails.
but today it was the girls.
angry, surly, snotty girls - four of them - absolutely refusing to keep quiet during a test, refusing to go to the office, refusing to listen to anything I had to say...
I could have choked them.
and I wanted to cry.
I guess, as a woman, I want to see girls grow, and excel, and use their supposed-more-mature-than-the-boys powers for good, not evil.
but these four were evil today.
and all I could do was write up my report, and try to keep it together for the sake of the rest of the class.
ugly.
but tomorrow's another day.
later,
Mrs. O'R

history

I was back at the high school today, subbing for the same teacher as last time.
I knew I was going to be back there, this was scheduled for a week, so I've had time to prepare, steel myself.
things went a bit smoother, especially since Thing 1 in eighth hour has been expelled (for telling the superintendent of schools to "f - - - off"), so Thing 2 was a bit more sedate.
not much, but a little bit.
these days in high school are quite disturbing to me.
my own high school experience was, well, wonderful.
sorry, but I was popular, had a lot of friends, and we were the going-to-college-and-we-give-a-crap kind of kids.
worked hard, got good grades, very involved in activities, etc., etc.
I haven't seen much of that in the classes I've been in.
they don't seem care about homework, or grades, or learning, in general.
and they certainly don't care about history.
I tried really hard to get a discussion going, trying to relate the opposition to the U.S. entering WWII to the opposition there is today to the war in Iraq.
nothing.
blank stares.
just give us our worksheet, and leave us alone.
I tried to engage them, tried to make them think about how different it was - no satellite/cable tv, no internet, no cell phones - and yet, there are similarities - recession, depression, war.
nada.
zip.
so I gave them their worksheet, and left them alone.
one young woman asked me if I used to be a history teacher.
I said no, and asked her why she thought that.
she said I got excited talking about all this "crap."
I tried to explain that I hoped we would learn from history, and not make the same mistakes.
and that when I'm old, and can't get to the polls on election day, they will determine my future.
"you're screwed" was the response.
I guess I'm not going to change the world during eighth hour.
later,
Mrs. O'R

rude awakening

after two assignments in the elementary school, I was called to sub yesterday at the high school.
they called on Wednesday, so I had a couple of days to reconsider and back out.
but I didn't, despite less than enthusiastic responses from my husband ("oh, are you sure you want to do that?") and my friend ("better you than me!").
Fridays are casual in this district, so I could wear jeans, and I was told that the teacher (U.S. History, World Geography, and U.S. Government) would have plenty of worksheets for them to do.
and his schedule is the kind I always dreamed of when I was teaching at four different schools, never had time to eat, and lived out of my car - on Fridays, he has five classes, a study hall, two prep periods, AND a half hour lunch!
the downside: it was the day before PROM.
high school hormones run amok.
but I accepted the assignment, and arrived quite early, so I could look through the materials and notes he left for me.
the secretary pops in a few minutes later, just to make sure I know that attendance must be taken, and I have the option of calling it in every hour, or turning it in at the end of the day.
a phone in every room!
I'm still remembering the dark ages, when we had intercom systems, and a voice would suddenly interrupt from somewhere up there near the clock.
now when a student needs to be summoned to the office, the phone rings.
amazing.
first hour was no problem - introduced myself, took attendance, collected yesterday's assignment, and passed out the three worksheets that they were to do in class.
had to "shush" them a couple of times, but no big deal.
and when they had all finished, I asked them about prom, and we actually talked nice for the last five minutes of class.
second hour was the study hall - in this room - and they were totally silent, and worked on stuff for the entire time!
third hour was a repeat of first, same subject, same worksheets.
fourth hour was a prep, so I wandered down the hall to the teachers' lounge and went to the bathroom.
back in the room, I read through the materials for sixth hour Geog. class, as I was to lead a discussion with some questions from their text.
Asian economy stuff - yikes! - but I jotted down notes for myself from the teacher's text, and felt pretty good.
fifth hour was a repeat of one and three, but I'm noticing that things are heating up.
there have been many absences, but most were excused, kids that were on the decorating committee for prom, and were down in the gym, getting things ready.
about half of this class is gone, and I have one young lady who comes in late, trying, unsuccessfully, to hold back tears.
I choose to ignore, rather than draw attention to her, and she pulls it together pretty well.
this class is more chatty, but we make it through.
one young man, who has designated himself my enforcer of the rules, assures me when I shush his outbursts that, "I've got your back, Mrs. O'R."
funny, but maybe I should have retained those services for the remainder of the day...
lunch!
I'm entitled to a free lunch, the daily special, and I get in line.
realizing that teachers are allowed (and expected to) skip to the front, I do so, and duck into the room next door marked "teacher dining."
it's a tiny room, stacked with boxes and assorted teacher-type equipment, but there's a round table, and four men are seated.
I set my "pizza dippers" (don't ask) down, and sit.
one of them tells me that I could also go to the other teachers' lounge, which is much bigger, and I wonder if he's trying to get rid of me.
before my brain can stop my mouth, I ask him if he's trying to get rid of me.
there's a slight pause, I die a little inside, and then they all laugh, assure me that's not the case, and ask if I play sheepshead.
apparently, I've stumbled upon an on-going lunchtime card tournament.
I decline (although it's very popular here in the midwest, I've never learned the game, too many rules for me, I need simple when it comes to card games), and quietly eat while they play.
as I leave, they wish me a good afternoon, and remind me that if I need anything, just holler.
prophetic.
sixth hour, a small class, has a bit more trouble settling down, several are prom-decorating, and three more leave half-way through class for music lessons.
they look a bit worried when they ask to leave, and I ask if they have a pass, or if there's a list of lessons posted somewhere (when I taught music, they had to have a special pass, and every teacher had a list of those students, to ensure no one was ducking out for more than one music lesson per week), but I'm sympathetic to the cause, and tell them to go.
this is the class where we are to have a discussion, and it breaks my heart.
they don't want to discuss anything, search for answers to my questions in their text, and read them to me.
this is followed by a review worksheet they must do right away, and we correct it.
(more searching for answers in the text, and spitting them out on paper.)
then I'm to give them a quiz.
I ask them to put their books away, and there's an uproar.
Mr. Regularteacher never makes them put there books away!
too bad, I'm not him, he's not here, the books are stowed away, and the quiz given.
after, I just try to make conversation for the last 7 or 8 minutes, but it's clear they don't want to talk to me, but would prefer to talk to each other, so I retreat to the desk at the back of the room.
seventh hour is another prep, and Mr. Regularteacher has a teacher aide, a senior getting a quarter-credit who asks if there are any worksheets or quizzes to correct.
there's a pile that has been set aside for her, and she gets to work.
I take the time to reorganize all the papers I've collected over the day, marking each stack with the class period, and a few notes about what was accomplished.
I also fill out the substitute's report that goes back to the office at the end of the day, leaving room at the bottom, just in case, for comments about eighth hour.
again, this proves prophetic.
it's very noisy in the hallway, and several guys come bouncing in (literally!) after the bell.
I use my best I've-got-my-eye-on-you look, but these kids have no fear.
and they have no boundaries.
there is talking, laughing, hooting and hollering, burping, farting, and within the first ten minutes, I've warned, warned again, lost my cool, and separated the worst two to opposite sides of the room.
yesterday's sub apparently did not hand out an assignment at the end of class, and I decide that I'm not going to hunt for it right now.
don't dare turn my back on these jokers.
I do have an assignment for today, but it's not due until Monday.
I make an executive decision, pass it out, and tell them it's due at the end of the hour, hoping that will keep them busy until 3:20.
Thing 1 (as Dr. Seuss surely would have described this kid!) is still bouncing around, and has decided to entertain the rest of the class with the music on an iPod.
I've told him he may listen to it with the earphones, if he keeps it turned down and does his assignment.
(I've noticed that several others in the room have already plugged in, and are working, ignoring the show put on by Thing 1 and Thing 2.)
he has other plans, and his antics are getting the attention he obviously wants from a couple of girls, and then the debate about where they are all going after prom begins.
I've had it, so I go to the batphone, call the office, and ask what the procedure is for kicking kids out of class.
when I tell the secretary which two it is, they apparently are regulars, and she tells me to send them right down.
they are delighted, I am delighted that they're gone, and surprisingly enough, the rest of them settle down quite a bit.
I decide not to even try to enforce quiet for the last 20 minutes of class, they turn in their worksheets, and soon it is all over.
as I'm finishing my report for the day, and gathering my stuff to leave, I try not to think about this last class as a failure on my part.
but it perplexes me so, that young people, so very close to being out on their own in the world, can be so very rude, and crude, and totally oblivious to consequences.
the secretary assures me that I did exactly the right thing, and hopes that this won't cause me to cancel out of next Friday's assignment: the same classes!
no problem, I tell her.
I have a week to plan...
later,
Patty (Mrs. O'R)